Simple Love

I have not written anything for awhile and I'm not even sure what to write now. I just know that if I want to get away from the slump I am in right now, I have to start with something. My life has been so complicated that it would be so easy to just give up everything and stop fighting. But I am not a quitter. I have never been and will never be a quitter. I do not succumb to the problems that life itself throws at me. So why was I in a dump? Well,..... I'm really not sure... I mean, sometimes life just sucks you know. Everything is out of control and anything that can go wrong really goes wrong. My Mom used to say that if you are close to God, you will encounter a lot of hardships. I used to dispute this, but now I think she actually makes sense. After all, Jesus said to his disciples in Matthew 16:24 
"Those who want to come with me must say no to the things they want, pick up their crosses, and follow me." (GW).
So why should I be an exception? I guess, problems are part of God's way to teach me the lessons I need to fulfill my destiny. And these lessons will not stop because I have not reached my full potential yet. If I want to become the best then I have to train hard to become the best. Resistant is part of my nature, I am a rebel by heart. This too, is something I have to learn how to control. I have attempted to move away from God lots of times in the past and all of my attempts failed. In the end, I will always run back to Him. What's the sense in life without God? I love him, I have a funny way of showing it, but that doesn't change the fact that I belong to God. 

Beautiful Things

But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. - Isaiah 40:31

It is normal for people to get weary. Sometimes , when you ask God for something and you've been praying for it for a long time you feel despair. And during times when problems pile up, you can't see the hands of God. Our Father in heaven knows how you're feeling. He sees your weakness and loss of hope. Contrary to your thinking that He has forsaken you, and that he hasn't heard your prayer and supplication, God is working to give you a future full of hope and abundance according to His plans. Unfortunately, our human eyes cannot see what he is working on. Our limited wisdom cannot fathom His plans. But when everything is ready, you will be amazed with His blessings intended for you. You can not measure the goodness of God. And therefore cannot surpass His love and generosity. Just recently I wept because He showed me a glimpse of light from what I thought is a dark path that I am currently in. There's something I've been praying for for years. I dream that my kids' music will be appreciated and acknowledged worldwide. A huge dream that I know, if based on my capabilities alone will be almost impossible. But I believe that nothing is impossible with my Father in heaven. He owns the heavens and the earth and he has the ability that I don't have. I know he will fill whatever I lack because he loves me and my children. But being the weak human being that I am, I also get tired. And at a time when I am almost losing hope and I seem to be looking for alternatives to our dream he opened a window so that I can catch a glimpse of light to renew my strength.

I remember a fellow preacher talking about actor Sylvester Stallone when he was still a poor actor and he was looking for a movie company who will buy his manuscript. One of his conditions was that he will star in the movie. There were a few companies who offered to buy his story but didn't want him as the leading man. Stallone had no money, he couldn't get a job as an actor, he was so hungry he had to sell his dog for a cheap price. But he didn't succumb to poverty. He didn't compromise his dream. He was able to sell his manuscript with him playing the main character after a couple of years for a cheap price, and "Rocky" the movie was made.

Surprisingly, a record label in the United Kingdom contacted us. They said they will make the music of my children famous worldwide within a year. Who are these people and how did they know about our music? But isn't God really like that? He will surprise you with the method he used when the answer to your prayer is ready. In my Christian life, I received innumerable miracles from my Father. An entire newspaper would not be enough if I am to write about every miracle that came to my life. Among all that, there is one common thing, when the grace is from God you will receive it without any suffering. It will willingly come in a manner so amazing you will wonder about how it got to you. He uses angels surprising you how these people you don't even know found you. And most importantly, you will hear the whisper of God in your heart. He will say "I did that because I love you my child". Glory to God!

Self-control

"But I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified." 1 Corinthians 9:27

My greatest challenge when it comes to self-control is my gluttonous attitude. Yes, I preach the Word of God and yet I commit one of the seven deadly sins which is gluttony. I have a tendency to over eat and I just can't stop eating! Before I used to justify this habit by saying I was being deprived of what I really want to eat because my Mom was in-charge of the kitchen and she doesn't cook very well. But now that she is sick and I am the master chef, I realized that I just can't leave my mouth idle. I have to munch on something! All the time! 

Self-restraint should extend to all areas of life. For the believer, temperance or moderation, does not come from sheer human willpower. It comes from the Holy Spirit who gives us self-control. Self-control is the Spirit-produced quality that enables us to be temperate or moderate in all things. Over-indulgence in food, rest, work, recreation, ministry, and a variety of "good things" can be corrected only through the balance of self-control. To gain self-control, give the Spirit control. The only preparation for tomorrow is the right use of today. 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; Galatians 5:22-23

A test

Does our faith depend on having every prayer answered as we think it should be answered, or does it rest rather on the character of a sovereign Lord? We can't really tell, can we, until we're in real trouble.

1st quarter of 2105 wasn't too friendly to me. I was born the year of  the Rooster and according to Feng Sui experts, the Rooster will experience extreme bad luck this year. I refuse to believe this, but lately, my faith has been put to numerous test.
* January:
     * Lost my high paying job (Personal choice)
     * Vehicular accident (Lost our driver & means of free transportation)
     * Can barely walk for over a month
* February:
      * Lost our band's drummer
      * A.K.A. 2nd MV shoot cancelled due to lack of funds
* March:
     * Lost our house
     * Son lost job

 And to top it all, my own production company has no income for Q1. Now, I am in debt and is in deep financial worry. What have I done differently this year compared to last year? I prayed more, or rather, since I no longer need to report to work 10 hours a day, I have more time to pray, and cook, and pray. So is God now allowing Satan to test my faith like what happened to Job? Yes and No. What I'm going through now is the result of my previous choices, and some are, as I would like to believe, blessings in disguise. I may not see God's hands now, but I know that He is not letting go of me and someday soon, He will open a door in a room full of His riches that I can't even imagine because he is God and He is in control and He is my Father and He loves me. In my life, there were 2 instances where I have seen total and complete surrender. One was when the Bellestar building was on fire 20 years ago. While everyone was in a state of panic, my boss and friend Sis. Bella Dimayuga, the owner of the building on fire was on her knees praising God. The 2nd time was when Actress/TV Host Toni Rose Gayda's son died from falling off a building. I don't really know them personally, but when I saw their interview on TV, both Toni Rose Gayda and her mother Rosa Rosal were praising God for lending their son to them and they were SMILING! Where can they get the strength to praise God, and more so, smile when they just lost a son? These people put my shallow faith to shame. My financial slump is nothing compared to their pain. What more the families of the fallen SAF 44? I don't have the right to ask "Why God?" The terrible things in the world seem to make a mockery of the love of God. Satan has no rights over any of God's children. But he is permitted to approach. He challenges God on the validity of our faith. God allows satan to make a test case from time to time. And we have to prove that there is such a thing as obedient faith which does not depend on receiving only benefits. May God bless me with such faith. Just now, as I am writing this, my mother had a stroke, was rushed to the hospital, and is in ICU. May God heal her and extend her stay with us. My luck will change soon. I just have to trust and believe.

Life seems barren

"Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." - Matthew 19:26

Do you have a dream that you want so much it hurts? I do. I've been praying for this dream for more than 2 years. Last year, I've seen my dream almost coming true... almost. But not yet. From the start of 2015 until today, I am slowly getting frustrated because things are becoming way out of proportion. The plans I have are not materializing, things that pushes the dream farther away keeps on happening. And I am getting scared. What will I do if God says No? And then I thought about how a person with a rose garden must feel. Every fall, they will cut their rosebushes back to almost nothing. For 4 months, the plant will look like pathetic little dead sticks from which nothing could possibly ever grow again. But when spring comes, they blossomed profusely. First they grow little buds, then one by one they opened and burst into different color and shades. Abundant, fragrant, breathtaking. I know that's what God is doing to me now. I am His rose garden. He wants me to have beauty and purpose, and to offer a life-giving fragrance to those around me. But first comes the pruning process. 

When god wants to make changes in our lives, and we're willing to let Him, He starts by cutting away all that is unnecessary. In this process, He strips from us everything that could hinder our future growth, in order to prepare us to bring forth good fruit- (Walking with God in the Quiet places)

My life may look and feel barren right now, but my God is actually freeing me from anything that does not bring forth life. Since I surrendered all to the Lord, especially my dreams and desires, I am being pruned. God placed his dream in my heart to give me vision and inspiration and to guide me to the right path. I must lay down my dreams to His feet and let them die. The ones that are not from Him will be buried away forever. The ones that are from Him will be given new life. 

Dear Lord,
I lift up my dreams to You. I believe that right now, You are working to put everything in order. And I know that soon my dreams will come true. I claim Your generosity, abundance, success, victory, and promise of love in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.

Letting go and letting God

5Trust in the LORD with all your heart
 And do not lean on your own understanding.

6In all your ways acknowledge Him,
  And He will make your paths straight.

- Proverbs 3: 5-6

Lately, I have been feeling lost. Things around me isn't going the way it should. I am reaping the consequences of my decision to leave a job that's making me miserable. Yes, I am happier now, I have more time for myself. I want to focus all my energy and talents in giving back to the community and in thanking God but the financial responsibility surrounding me is overwhelming. I have a dream and I've been praying for 2 years for this dream but even this is not looking too good. We lost a driver we trust and treated like family because of an accident. We lost our band's drummer because of difference in priorities. We lost the ability to accept events even for free because of financial issues. We are being evicted from our home, and we may need to live without electricity for a week. What must a Mom do? Must I leave the life I want for myself and re-enter the corporate world even though my heart is telling me otherwise? Do I really not deserve the luxury of doing what I want to do? Are my kids really not meant for something bigger?

NO!!! Away with this negativity! God said to trust in Him with all my heart and that is what I choose to do. My dreams are in their gestation period and it will be ready soon! God has different plans for the people we lost. Their roles in our book of life is done and we must close that chapter so that we can start the new and better chapter. We will find a house soon. Our finances will be better and everything will fall in it's proper order. These too will pass. I must not lose my focus. I will do my best and let God do the rest. 

Facing Trials

"My friends, be glad, even if you have a lot of trouble. You know that you have learn to endure by having your faith tested. But you must learn to endure everything, so that you will be completely mature and not lacking in anything." - James 1: 2-4

This verses in the book of James were followed by "5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do." It struck me how in this verses, experiencing trouble is co-related with receiving anything from the Lord. Digging deeper into this, I guess what James meant was when you dream, unexpected hurdles will arise. But you must not give up on your dream because of this hurdles, for they are a test of your character and they will make you a better and stronger person. They will prepare you for your dream. So, you just have to believe and pray.

Last week, my family received multiple blessings from God. 3 TV guesting for our band A.K.A., 2 on major networks in the country which we can only dream to penetrate. A successful show on a Monday! We were so happy going home from that show when WHAM! at 3:00 in the morning, our vehicle crashed head on to a post. My son Aiki who was then seated in front with the driver said, it was a good thing I woke up when the vehicle was flying through the air and screamed my lungs out. Otherwise, our driver and him (Aiki) wouldn't have woken up. We could all have been dead by now. I feel my knees grow weaker just thinking about what could have happened if the brakes were not hit hard enough on time, or what if the breaks did not work? The post would have split our van into halves, my son would seated in front would have flown out of the windshield, my daughter sleeping in my lap would have been torn in to half by the torso, and my other son, Kevin would have died too since he was seated in the middle. My mom and I along with our driver, our drummer, and another friend would have survived with some cuts and broken bones but... losing 3 kids in an instant? I would have gone crazy. Thank God, I was the one who was most hurt by that accident. Yes, I still can't barely move my left arm, yes, I still can't sit, lie down, and stand without assistance, yes, the pain in my ribs still can make me scream sometimes, but thank You Lord. Thank You Lord. Thank You Lord for sparing my kids from bodily harm. Thank You Lord. 

Now, my kids and I are still afraid to travel again. I was in the entertainment industry for a long time, I traveled to different provinces everyday from morning until the wee hours of the next day but I had never experienced an accident. This is my first. And it scared the hell out of me. Should we quit accepting shows now? Should we just stay home and be safe? No! This is just another hurdle. We will overcome this and we will continue dreaming. Our destinies will not be altered because of this incident. 
6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt. 
Yes Lord, I believe. I trust. I expect. I know that beautiful things will be coming soon. Thank You Lord. 

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